Isn’t it crazy how things happen the way they do? You think you have a plan for certain things in your life, like you have a hand-brush, paint and a canvas in front of you and everything will eventually be pictured together just right. And then the unthinkable happens, you fix a few mistakes, change some things to better the situation and you end up making the painting even more beautiful despite it’s imperfections. At times, I read old posts and really think to myself, “Did I really just say that?” or “Did that really just happen to me?” It’s weird how certain circumstances, good and bad, can better you as a person. Those moments are to help you grow or give you a lesson learned. I’ve realized, my heart just keeps getting bigger and bigger. My ambition and outlook just keeps pushing past distractions and doubt. And the thing is, I feel like I’m at point in my life where I’m growing more and learning more about myself. It’s a challenge that I’ve accepted a long time ago and it only gets better by the day.
I want certain things for myself because I feel that if I keeping working towards it, it won’t be given to me on a silver platter, but earned — the right way. I’d rather work my ass off than someone having to say, “She doesn’t deserve it.” And don’t get me wrong, I love my parents, but I’d rather use every single penny in my own bank account and struggle my own way through college and life rather than living off my parents and feeling like I’ll constantly have to pay them back for the rest of my life. Yeah, they know what’s best for me, but they also know I can handle my own like I’ve been since I was 17. I’ve seen people take so many things for granted and everyday I remind myself over and over again that this is what I have and this is what I’m grateful for. So what, people struggle. People fall, people break and sometimes, people just give up. I don’t want to be that person. My life isn’t about my past, my life is about looking ahead, moving forward and having faith in, not only the people I surround myself with but .. myself.
It doesn’t matter where I came from, what matters is where I’m headed.
